{"id":1300,"date":"2019-06-10T09:33:58","date_gmt":"2019-06-10T08:33:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/?p=1300"},"modified":"2023-08-10T19:45:11","modified_gmt":"2023-08-10T18:45:11","slug":"corbyn-spotted-travelling-incognito-in-the-north","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/corbyn-spotted-travelling-incognito-in-the-north\/humour-light-entertainment\/","title":{"rendered":"Corbyn spotted travelling incognito in the North?"},"content":{"rendered":"

An exclusive breaking story from the \u2018I Wish That Was The News\u2019 Newsroom<\/h2>\n

Unsubstantiated reports from noted unreliable sources are bombarding the Five Minutes Spare\u2019s \u2018\u2018I Wish That Was The News\u2019\u2019 Newsroom, that Jeremy Corbyn has been spotted travelling undercover in the north of England. Following last week\u2019s condemnation of the Northern Rail services by Manchester and Liverpool mayors, Andy Burnham and Joe Anderson, Mr Corbyn has decided to check out the situation for himself.<\/p>\n

Our source said he caught up with Mr Corbyn on the train between Manchester and Liverpool, asked \u2018\u2018Why the long face Jeremy?\u2019\u2019. Mr Corbyn said he was deeply unhappy that the Northern Rail guard had forced him to sit on a seat, when there was clearly plenty of room to sit in the passageway. Asked about recent claims that \u2018\u2019Labour was totally out of touch with its grassroots supporters in the north\u2019\u2019, Mr Corbyn said he could categorically and emphatically deny the accusations. When probed as to why he was wearing a flat cap and had whippet in tow, he admitted he felt uncomfortable travelling outside the Westminster bubble and that the cunning disguise had been the idea of long-time special friend and confidant, Diane Abbot. Mr Corbyn said he\u2019d also asked Ms Abbot advice on what Northerners eat, since he didn\u2019t want to expose himself on the mission by revealing a dodgy looking lunchbox. By all accounts, the rest of the conversation went like this:<\/p>\n

Abbot: It\u2019s drippin\u2019, Jeremy!<\/p>\n

Corbyn: Yeah baby, I know I\u2019ve still got it! I\u2019m flattered my little Di Di Dum Dums but you know I\u2019m a married man!<\/p>\n

Abbot: No not that Jeremy, bread and drippin\u2019, it\u2019s wot they eat in the Norf!<\/p>\n

\"\"

Image taken by Adrian Didlick<\/a> (flickr). Changed man by us.<\/p><\/div>\n

Mr Corbyn admitted he tried the dripping but like most things, he just didn\u2019t have the stomach for it! Instead, he\u2019d brought along his favourite packed lunch for the journey, \u2018\u2019caviar sandwiches\u2019\u2019! Mr Corbyn was quick to point out that it wasn\u2019t quite as extravagant as it might seem, since he only eats homemade caviar, which meant that he\u2019d had spent most of the previous evening pumping a sturgeon.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile in Holyrood, Scotland\u2019s First Minister, was unavailable for comment on the breaking story.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thanks for reading our exclusive news bulletin!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is Tommy Hobbes – signing off for now!<\/p>\n

The only truly genuine fake news reporter on the Web<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An exclusive breaking story from the \u2018I Wish That Was The News\u2019 Newsroom Unsubstantiated reports from noted unreliable sources are bombarding the Five Minutes Spare\u2019s \u2018\u2018I Wish That Was The News\u2019\u2019 Newsroom, that Jeremy Corbyn has been spotted travelling undercover in the north of England. Following last week\u2019s condemnation of the Northern Rail services by…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":139,"featured_media":1303,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[372,548],"tags":[1743,543,1749,1748,1742],"class_list":["post-1300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour-light-entertainment","category-i-wish-that-was-the-news","tag-fake-news","tag-jeremy-corbyn","tag-political-irony","tag-political-satire","tag-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/139"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1300"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1300\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1307,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1300\/revisions\/1307"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fiveminutesspare.com\/entertainment\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}